What I've done. You know I love the sea. Now I've gone home. Please remember that I chose to end my life this way. If I'd grown any weaker you'd have insisted on getting me to a hospital where I'd die hooked up to machines. That is something I could not do. Also, once the authorities realized how ill I was they would authorities have to place you and your sisters into foster homes... most likely separate homes. Your only chance to keep you and your sisters together is for you to get to your grandma's farm. I know if you show up she'll take you in. Take care of the girls and keep the family together. I love all of you. MOM." It was my turn to lean my head on the table and sob. Once my tears were exhausted I spoke. "I understand, Mom," I whispered to her knowing she'd hear me. Once I'd gained control of myself I opened the envelope. In it was $50.00 and a letter. "Carol, it's wonderful to hear from you after all these years. Unfortunately I'm afraid I can't help you. Maybe next time you’ll listen to me better.? You step away from me and towards your table of toys. ?Remember this Jane?? you ask, holding up a long, thin, cane. ?Yes sir,? I answer. ?And this?? ?Yes sir.??Do you remember these Jane???Yes sir.? ?Would you tell me which one was your favorite Jane?? ?The nipple clamps, sir,? I say, and again stifling disappointment as I watch you put the clamps aside and take the cane instead. My ass is already clenching, tensing up, knowing how much it will hurt. ?Would you like me to use this Jane? Do you remember how it felt last time?? You are standing behind me and I can feel your hot breath on the back of my neck and I feel myself involuntarily straining against the ropes that bind me. Your hand reaches around and pinches my nipple and I almost die for a moment. ?Tonight, you are going to tell me your name, Jane.? I can’t wait for you to begin. I turn to my husband who is sitting next to me on the couch. ?What do I do that makes you feel.
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